Sex Education

An in depth study of sex is best done just prior to marriage.  It’s not that complicated, but without a basic understanding of sex, many misunderstanding can take place that needn’t be there. Your best teacher of sex education is your partner, assuming that both partners are unselfish enough to care more for their spouse’s satisfaction than their own.  When this is studied by married couples or soon to be married couples it proves to be quite fascinating.  When you consider this topic within the light of how God intended it- conception, pleasure, and marital communication, it causes us to marvel at the beauty and amazement of the human body and how God designed us. It’s important for us to have a basic understanding of your reproductive system and your partner’s and the brain that controls all response. 

The typical sexual response cycle:

Phase 1: Excitement

General characteristics of the excitement phase, which can last from a few minutes to several hours, include the following:

·         Muscle tension increases.

·         Norepinephrine, a neurotransmitter induces euphoria in your brain, exciting the body by giving it a booster dose of natural adrenaline.  This causes your heart rate to quicken and breathing to accelerate. It also causes the skin to become sweaty and flushed (blotches of redness appear on the chest and back).

·         Nipples become hardened or erect.

·         Blood flow to the genitals increases, resulting in swelling of the woman's clitoris and labia minora (inner lips), and erection of the man's penis.

·         Vaginal lubrication begins.

·         The woman's breasts become fuller and the vaginal walls begin to swell.

·            The man's testicles swell, his scrotum tightens, and he begins secreting a lubricating liquid.

·            Dopamine is released.  It is associated with your pleasure system, it is also called your craving center.  This provides feelings of enjoyment and reinforcement to motivate us to do certain activities.

·               Phenyl ethylamine is released: It's a natural amphetamine. It contributes to that on-top-of-the-world feeling that attraction can bring, and gives you the energy to stay up day and night with a new love.

·            Serotonin is released which controls impulses, unruly passions, aiding the sense of "being in control".

Phase 2: Plateau

General characteristics of the plateau phase, which extends to the brink of orgasm, include the following:

·         The changes begun in phase 1 are intensified.

·         The vagina continues to swell from increased blood flow, and the vaginal walls turn a dark purple.

·         The woman's clitoris becomes highly sensitive (may even be painful to touch) and retracts under the clitoral hood to avoid direct stimulation from the penis.

·         The man's testicles are withdrawn up into the scrotum.

·         Breathing, heart rate, and blood pressure continue to increase.

·         Muscle spasms may begin in the feet, face, and hands.

·         Muscle tension increases.

Phase 3: Orgasm

The orgasm is the climax of the sexual response cycle. It is the shortest of the phases and generally lasts only a few seconds. General characteristics of this phase include the following:

·         Involuntary muscle contractions begin.

·         Blood pressure, heart rate, and breathing are at their highest rates, with a rapid intake of oxygen.

·         Muscles in the feet spasm.

·         There is a sudden, forceful release of sexual tension.

·         In women, the muscles of the vagina contract. The uterus also undergoes rhythmic contractions.

·         In men, rhythmic contractions of the muscles at the base of the penis result in the ejaculation of semen.

·         A rash, or "sex flush" may appear over the entire body.

·         Oxytocin floods into the body. This is best known for its role in labor by stimulating contractions, But this “the cuddle chemical” influences our ability to bond with others, as both genders release this hormone when touching and cuddling, with the oxytocin level peaking during orgasm. 

·         In men, vasopressin is released.  This chemical is also referred to as the “monogamy chemical” as it has been found to heighten a man’s sense of responsibility.  It creates a desire in him to say with his woman and inspires a protective sense and drives him to protect his territory and offspring. 

·         Endorphins are released.  They are biochemical compounds that enhance our immune system, block the lesion of blood vessel, have anti-again, anti-stress and pain-relieving effects, and also helps to improve your memory.  Endorphins are also released during exercise, hence the term “runner’s high.

·         More Dopamine is released.  This chemical stimulates “desire and reward” by triggering an intense rush of pleasure. 

Phase 4: Resolution

During resolution, the body slowly returns to its normal level of functioning, and swelled and erect body parts return to their previous size and color. This phase is marked by a general sense of well-being, enhanced intimacy and, often, fatigue. Some women are capable of a rapid return to the orgasm phase with further sexual stimulation and may experience multiple orgasms. Men need recovery time after orgasm, called a refractory period, during which they cannot reach orgasm again. The duration of the refractory period varies among men, but typically is between 20 to 45 minutes, and usually lengthens with advancing age.

Typical sexual response of men and women. 

However, researchers found that many women would not respond in a linear way, Dr. Rosemary Basson developed a more accurate view of the sexual response for a woman during sex.  Women have lots of reasons for engaging in sexual activity.  Although most women experience spontaneous desire and interest in a new relationship or after a long separation, most women in long-term relationships don’t frequently think of sex or experience deep hunger for sexual experiences.  In most of these cases it is their desire for increased emotional closeness and intimacy or overtures from her spouse that predisposes a woman to participate in sexual activity. She is receptive to being sexual, but doesn’t initiate sexual activity.  The desire for intimacy prompts her to seek ways to become sexually aroused via conversation, music, or stimulation.  Once aroused, sexual desires emerge and motivates her to continue.  There are many points of vulnerability that may derail or distract a woman from feeling sexually fulfilled.  This model clarifies that the goal of most women is not necessarily orgasm but rather personal satisfaction, which may include orgasm, and /or feelings of intimacy and connection with her spouse. 

Basson’s Non- Linear Model

Your largest sex organ is your brain. It’s the pleasure center of your brain that sends signals back to you that what’s happening feels good (or doesn’t), and it’s your brain and nervous system that transmits the feelings and sensations we have with orgasm. Not only is sex about communication between people, it’s about the systems of your brain and the rest of your body communicating, too. The beauty of bodies and brains is that they don’t all communicate the same way. It may take time to figure out how your personal communication works, but it’s definitely worth the effort.

Without your brain, you wouldn’t feel pain or pleasure, even if you were touched in a way or in a place which many people find pleasurable. The brain is primarily responsible for orgasm: during sexual pleasure, all the nerve endings of your body (including your genitals, all linked to your nervous system) are in concert and communication with your brain, and vice-versa. 

Sexuality is physical and sensory, but also chemical, emotional, psychological, intellectual, social, cultural and multi-sensory. That’s all brain stuff. It’s not just what we feel if we touch ourselves or someone else touches us a certain way and how the brain influences those sensations, but all we think and feel about it, including messages others have given us, all our previous sexual experiences and experiences which may have influenced our sexuality, our hopes and fears, our sexual fantasies or expectations, how we feel about who we’re with if and when we have sexual partners, how we feel about our sexual selves as a whole and everything going on with us hormonally and physically when we are sexually stimulated – whether we’re aroused without any kind of touch, or if touch is also involved — in any way. No matter what other parts of our bodies are part of what’s going on with us sexually our brain is our biggest, most important and most active sexual organ.

References:

Basson R. Female sexual response: the role of drugs in the management of sexual dysfunction. Obstet Gynecol 2001; 98:350-353.

Bullivant, SB et al. “Women Sexual Experience During the Menstrual Cycle: Identification of the Sexual Phase by Noninvasive Measurement of Luteinizing Hormone,” Journal of Sex Research (2004) 41:82.

Chung WS, Lim SM, Yoo JH, & Yoon H (2013). Gender difference in brain activation to audio-visual sexual stimulation; do women and men experience the same level of arousal in response to the same video clip? International journal of impotence research, 25 (4), 138-42 PMID: 23303334

Corrina, H. (2015). Pleasure: Sexual Anatomy For Every Body. Retrieved May 04, 2016, from http://safersex.education/human-body-sexual-anatomy-pleasure/

Female Sexual Response. (2008, March). Retrieved May 04, 2016, from http://www.arhp.org/publications-and-resources/clinical-fact-sheets/female-sexual-response

LaHaye, T. F., & LaHaye, B. (1976). The act of marriage: The beauty of sexual love. Grand Rapids: Zondervan Pub. House.

Pillsworth EG et al. “Ovulatory Shift in Female Sexual Desire,” Journal of Sex Research (2004) 41:55.

Silber, M. “Menstrual Cycle and Work Schedule: Effects of Women’s Sexuality,” Archives of Sexual Behavior (1994) 23:397.

Slob, AK et al. “Sexual Arousability and the Menstrual Cycle,” Psychoneuroendocrinology (1996) 21:545.

Stoléru S, Fonteille V, Cornélis C, Joyal C, & Moulier V (2012). Functional neuroimaging studies of sexual arousal and orgasm in healthy men and women: a review and meta-analysis. Neuroscience and biobehavioral reviews, 36 (6), 1481-509 PMID: 22465619

Sylva D, Safron A, Rosenthal AM, Reber PJ, Parrish TB, & Bailey JM (2013). Neural correlates of sexual arousal in heterosexual and homosexual women and men. Hormones and behavior, 64 (4), 673-84 PMID: 23958585

Todd, N. (2014, September 30). Sexual Response Cycle: Sexual Arousal, Orgasm, and More.  Retrieved May 03, 2016, from http://www.webmed.com/sex-relationships/guide/sexual-health-your-guide-to-sexual-response-cycle