Dangers of Masturbation

     Along with the suggestion of Porn usage, many sex therapists promote the use of masturbation.  Although one cannot disagree with the value of being comfortable with your body and sexuality, masturbation can harm your relationships, your health, and your sense of well-being. 

Your Health and Sense of Well-being

            Masturbation accompanies pornography but the same dangers can exist without the use of porn, when you are masturbating.  Orgasms release dopamine, the feel good chemical.  However, the brain can be overstimulated by this rush of dopamine, so to compensate it takes away some of the dopamine receptors.  With fewer receptors, it makes it much harder to get the same “rush”.  Not only does orgasm create a high, but it also has a neurochemical recovery period as the brain returns to homeostasis. The more powerful the blast of neurochemical excitement during orgasm, the lower the lows as the brain recovers. In some people this recovery causes mild or severe symptoms of lethargy, depression, anxiety or remorse. The result is often a desire to self-medicate with more masturbation. The neurochemical rush of dopamine triggered by sexual experiences can turn masturbation into a convenient drug of choice for pleasure, escape, and self-medication from loneliness, boredom, insomnia, negative emotions, and the stresses of life. Over time, the brain can turn masturbation into an addiction. Masturbation interferes with healthy sexuality in a marriage. The same neurochemicals that, during marital intimacy, enhance your relationship with your spouse, redirect your desire toward yourself rather than your spouse.  Over time, "self-sex" becomes your brain's preferred method for achieving sexual gratification. The friction of your hand or vibrators is more much abrasive than the friction of intercourse, which can lead to sexual frustration in marriage as you cannot achieve the same level of stimulation in intercourse that you have wired your body to receive. 

Your Marriage Relationship

     The more one masturbates the more he/she expresses dissatisfaction within their relationship and the less love they feel towards their spouse.  Post-orgasmic prolactin is higher following intercourse than masturbation.  This increases the bond between you and your partner.  Hence, it isn’t surprising that research discovered that the more someone masturbates, the less they enjoy affectionate contact.  Another research study found that the frequency of penile-vaginal intercourse increased satisfaction, intimacy, trust, passion, and an overall improvement in the quality of their relationship.  However, the frequency of Non-coital sexual behaviors negatively affected each of these areas. 

            Other problems with masturbation is that you are often fantasizing about someone other than your spouse.  This sets you up for infidelity within the marriage.  It sets up unrealistic expectation in your marriage of how your spouse should perform in the bed.  This can inevitably leave you feeling frustrated and disappointed.  It decreases your ability to perform because of the need for certain types of stimulation.  It fuels a feeling oriented focus, not principle focused view.  You can develop a self-indulgent attitude in life, instead of a self-sacrificing view.  A good marriage grows and thrives when both parties look for opportunities to give, not take.  Unfortunately, these views of life don’t stop in the bedroom.  It carries over into all aspects of your marriage.  Many turn to masturbation as an escape or coping activity for stress, anger, loneliness, tiredness, or fear, which inevitably increases the same behaviors that lead them there, making them masturbate more often, and it stops you from turning toward your spouse and the Lord in times of need.  It is through your spouse and the Lord that those feelings are healed.  Masturbation can make your spouse feel rejected, replaced, betrayed, and deceived. True intimacy can never be achieved when there is a lack of trust and we are self- focused. 

            Turning to masturbation to fulfill your sexual desires, will always come up as empty in the end, destroying your marriage, and self-respect.  As an act of self-gratification focused on lust, masturbation cheats both the individual and the spouse out of the powerful potential God built into human sexuality. Instead, turn towards one another, learn to communicate effectively, be willing to educate yourself on how your body and your spouse’s body works, embrace the sexuality within yourself and your spouse and work together to create greater intimacy in marriage. It may take more time and energy, but in the end it will greatly increase the joy and happiness in your marriage. 

Challenge

Discuss the topic of masturbation in your marriage and decide together what is appropriate and most beneficial to the marriage.

References:

 Anders, S. M., Edelstein, R. S., Wade, R. M., & Samples-Steele, C. R. (2012). Descriptive Experiences and Sexual vs. Nurturant Aspects of Cuddling between Adult Romantic Partners. Arch Sex Behavioral Archives of Sexual Behavior, 42(4), 553-560. doi:10.1007/s10508-012-0014-8

Brain Science And Masturbation | Masturbation | Education & Resources. Retrieved June 02, 2016, from http://reclaimsexualhealth.com/Masturbation/masturbation-and-addiction.html#sthash.f5BhvhTc.dpuf

 Brody, S., & Krüger, T. H. (2006). The post-orgasmic prolactin increase following intercourse is greater than following masturbation and suggests greater satiety. Biological Psychology, 71(3), 312-315. doi:10.1016/j.biopsycho.2005.06.008

Costa, R. M. (2012). Masturbation is Related to Psychopathology and Prostate Dysfunction: Comment on Quinsey (2012). Arch Sex Behavioral Archives of Sexual Behavior, 41(3), 539-540. doi:10.1007/s10508-012-9956-0