Premature
ejaculation is described as the inability to withhold ejaculation long enough
to bring one’s wife to climax 50% of the time.
As a man, your sexual needs can often be satisfied in a matter of
seconds; however, your wife is just the reverse. She begins more slowly, then gradually builds
to her sexual climax. About the time she
is really getting excited, her husband ejaculates and leaves her with a limp
penis, thus denying her an opportunity for a satisfying climax in
intercourse. A typical woman usually
requires ten to fifteen minutes of manipulation, either with your hand or
through intercourse, before she can climax. So what can a husband do to delay
his ejaculation? Here are a few ideas for you to try.
Practice Deep Breathing- Deep
breathing is a form of meditation that can sometimes help control the arousal
and tension that lead to early ejaculation. Try to see if you can avoid
shallow, short breathing, which speeds up your heartbeat and can trigger
ejaculation. Spend five seconds breathing in one deep, full breath, hold it for
about three seconds, and then exhale for five seconds. If you can do this for
about five minutes without breaking the rhythm, you may be able to use it
during sex to avoid premature ejaculation.
Start and Stop Method- Avoid any unnecessary friction on the glans
penis immediately after entrance for about two minutes. This requires great self- control as your
instinct says to thrust deeply. This
resting period will help you gain a degree of control that will retard the
ejaculation. If your wife will pinch
your penis with her pubococcygeus muscles (PC
muscles) during this motionless period, her emotional tension will build
toward climax while yours is dormant.
When you gain control of your ejaculation, you can begin the thrusting
that will bring both of you towards climax. After the first motionless period,
you can experiment as to how long subsequent pauses are needed to control
ejaculation. This technique can help you learn to resist ejaculation almost
indefinitely.
Avoid rough, forceful penetration- The most sensitive area in the
female is the first 2 to 3 inches inside the vagina. This is often more exciting to your wife and
less exciting to you, further helping you to control your ejaculation while she
builds toward orgasm. Another advantage
is that when you realize that you are approaching the point of no return, you
can easily slip his penis out momentarily, continue caressing the clitoris and
other ways of petting your wife, then return the penis into her vagina after
regaining your control. If you are deep
thrusting when you reach the point of no return, pulling out may cause enough
friction to trigger his ejaculation.
Squeeze method- This method requires
one of you to squeeze the base of the penis at the same point that the
stop-and-start technique would be used, when he is at the brink of orgasm. The
idea is to reduce your partner's erection through squeezing.
Kegel exercises- This is most widely known for women, but it can help
a man as well. To do Kegels, you
will quickly clench and release the PC muscle repeatedly for ten seconds (this
is the muscle you use to stop urine when peeing). Do three sets, with a ten-second break between
sets. If you contract your PC muscle when you are close to orgasm, you should
be able to slow things down.
Use a condom- Men can last a
lot longer if they will use a condom because it helps to desensitize the penis. It is also easier to stay on the edge without
going over.
Have an orgasm early- Have an orgasm
about 10 minutes before intercourse. While you will be able to attain
another erection it usually takes longer to have another orgasm shortly after
the first one.
Use
Tantric Techniques- If you have
never heard of this, here is a simple overview.
It starts with a simple breath — Breath is energy. Each breath
brings in new oxygen, which is circulated by the blood, and energizes every
living cell within the body. Breath and oxygen are among of the
foundations of human energy. Very frequently in sex, when people become
excited, they will hold their breath for a few moments or for a long time, then
letting out or in a large amount of air. Breathing often becomes
strained, or tense, and then releases suddenly. Such breathing stops the energy from moving. In making breathing conscious during
the sexual act, one may learn to move the energy at will, rather
than simply allowing it to flow and stop in an unconscious manner. Breathe deeply. Breathe
fully. Do not stop the breath, or tighten the chest/lungs. Let the
breath be complete. Full complete breaths allow the energy to move
throughout the body.
Relax- By simply relaxing all
of the muscles not required for a particular sexual act, the
energy moves through the body more smoothly and easily. Focus your
attention upon relaxing all the muscles of the body. Relax. Let go.
Feel your sexual energy spread into all those relaxed areas and flow throughout
the body. Relaxation is not just about the body. Let go of your
expectations. Let go of your preconceptions, too. Relax your rules
and restrictions upon yourself and others. Release those old emotions you’ve
been holding on to. Relax and allow yourself to just be.
Make a sound- Making sound is also critical to moving of
energy. Some people are nervous or self-conscious about how they sound. Let go of your
internal self-talk about how you sound. Make the noises that most clearly express exactly how you are feeling
right now. This type of sound may be labeled a connected sound. It is a
sound connected to an emotion or sensation; the sound of whatever you are
internally present to in the moment. The sounds you make will move your
energy. If you are silent, it is much
harder to move your energy,
than if you are very loud. The more noise you make, the higher your
pleasure. The more those sounds are connected to your emotions, the more powerfully they will move
the energy of those emotions.
Make
eye contact- Eye contact is vital to intimacy and a deepening tantric
connection. It is often said that “the eyes are the window to the
soul.” By connecting the eyes of two lovers, the souls communicate with each other,
so to speak. Keep the eyes open, and gaze into your lover’s eyes
frequently. Allow the energy raised through breath, relaxation and sound
to pass between your eyes and into one another. Allow the energy to pass
through the eyes, and not only through the
genitals.
Pay
attention- Put your attention on where you want your energy to move. Use the
breath, the muscular relaxation, the sound and the eye contact to send your
focus, attention and energy exactly where you want it to go. If your
attention is entirely on your genitals, this is where your sexual energy will
be.
Be
Present- By being present, a person feels more of what is happening right now, and
has more energy to move.
These
techniques can help keep your arousal in check, taking you back from the brink
of orgasm and allowing the sexual experience to continue. In fact, creating
waves of near-orgasmic bliss leads to a more powerful orgasm for you and
perhaps even multiple orgasms for your wife.
Concentrate of your wife’s satisfaction- Since her orgasm is more a
complex art than a man’s, it takes her longer to learn this art. If you will make your wife’s satisfaction a
major priority early in your marriage, you will both benefit from her
accomplishment.
Engage in longer foreplay- This can help increase satisfaction of your wife as
well as delay your ejaculation. Longer foreplay can improve your relationship
by reducing dissatisfaction, frustration and performance-related anxiety.
Women don’t regard foreplay as a warm up to the game, it is part of the big
game. A man’s natural instinct is to
rush this part of the game. Be conscious of the different phases of lovemaking
and devote your attention to bringing your wife through each stage. Don’t advance too quickly and you will learn
to enjoy the art of making love.
Challenge
- Communicate with your wife about wanting to prolong your ejaculations. Ask her, with the sincere desire to listen, how to make your love making experience better for her? Share your desire to try different techniques that may improve the sexual experience for both of you.
- Be patient with yourself and your spouse as you try new things. As with anything else, it takes practice to do something new well. Give it time and continue to discuss and decide together what things you want to continue working on and which ideas you don’t. Be open to try things more than once before you decide whether it has potential or doesn’t. Everything is awkward the first time you try it. Remember the first time you tried to ride a bike? With time and practice, you became a natural and it was second nature. In time, with good communication, respect for one another, and dedication you can enjoy very rich and rewarding intimacy with one another.
References:
Berman, L. (2014, October 31). 7 Ways to Stop Premature
Ejaculation. Retrieved May 16, 2016, from
http://www.everydayhealth.com/sexual-health/dr-laura-berman-tips-to-help-stop-premature-ejaculation.aspx
LaHaye, T. F., & LaHaye, B. (1976). The act of
marriage: The beauty of sexual love. Grand Rapids: Zondervan Pub. House.
Sarver, E. B. (2009, June 16). Six Basic Keys to
Mind-blowing Tantric Sex. Retrieved May 16, 2016, from http://thepersonalrevolution.ebsarver.com/2009/06/16/six-basic-keys-to-mind-blowing-tantric-sex/
No comments:
Post a Comment